Hurray!

We have a set appointment time for someone to come and observe Ricci in one week!!!!! We've waited and waited for this. They will give feed back on him, the adults surrounding him, and help provide support for him in the classroom. So... I truly hope that this will open a new door. I can't wait to see how it all goes!

That's all for now!

A Dedication for Ricci with songs we love

So, I write in a little journal for Ricci. I started the journal when he was 7 months old. I write to him, sometimes I include storied he creates, or a drawing, but mostly the journal is a bunch of letters to Ricci.

I was thinking yesterday of all the songs I have "dedicated" to him. I don't mean I call radio stations and ask them to send out a holler to my four year old, but I share these songs with Ricci. We sing them together, or when he was an infant, I would sing them to him.

The first song I sang to/ for him was "Imagine." We all know this one, we all know John Lennon wrote it, and I also love Jack Johnson's version. To me it is optimistic, especially now. I have hope that my son will grow up in a world where we care for one another and respect and celebrate differences. That heaven is a reason to love our world community instead of challenge them. I hope Ricci can experience a new type of peace and "harmony." Yes, I am a dreamer. I sang this song to Ricci when he woke up in the middle of the night to nurse in his first days of life. We all imagine a better world for our children.

Another song is, "In my life," by yes--- the Beatles. It is about all the places we have been, all the people we know, and that there is a person, (for me it is both Ricci and his daddy) which we love most. Ricci was a long awaited gift. We tried for him for four years, and he was an amazing blessing. In his infancy, I really found this song to speak my feelings.

As he grew I felt an ambivalence, and I found John Lennon's "Beautiful Boy," to be a celebration of the hard feelings we have when we want to see our children grow and develop, but we are afraid for their safety. There is an urgency to know they will be safe and successful as citizens of this world, but then we want to slow down sometimes and just take care of them. We see them grow, as the song says,and they get better and better each day. I like how Lennon talks about patience as we just learn we must live in the moment and enjoy who our children are right now. He states " out on the ocean, ships sail away, I can harldy wait to see you come of age, I guess I'll just have to be patient." Our children are slowly moving away from us, and we have to cherish each second, and understand that we have these great hopes and dreams for our children, but not to wish away the time in our concern for their life's course. This is my most favorite song for Ricci, as I feel that he has a beautiful soul, one of love and kindness, and he teaches me to slow down even as he runs through the house.

This summer my dad and I went to Jack Johnson's concert. I saw Paula Fuga perform with him. The song that caught my attention was, "Country Road." Paula Fuga wrote it. It is I believe about a meeting with God, and you ask for salvation, grace and patience on your path. We all want to know that life will be okay NOW, but we have to wait, and watch and sit in that discomfort and realize we are learning and growing in the tension. I love Paula Fuga's voice, and Ricci and I sang this song many mornings, and still do. It helps to uplift and to ask humbly for the patience to wait and to have optimism. She closes with "I pray for light in times of darkness." This above all is one wish I have for Ricci. That when it is dark in his life that he knows that there is someone looking out for him, and that there is love waiting for him. I hope he can the patience to wait for the comfort to come. I have following, the words to the song as not many of us know of her. Please check out her website too and try to listen to her singing the song. It makes the song so amazing!
Country Road
"Head on Collision on a 2 lane country road, Lord I pray let them be safe.No turning back I’m just a mile away from home, I sit here waiting let me be patient.
Chorus:Sometimes it’s hard to ease my mind to realize, you’re always with me waiting, willing to hear my, thoughts my hopes, my dreams, my every need
I pray for wisdom and over standing
What’s meant to be will always be though I control my destiny, Free will you gave me even though you made me.Be careful of the things you do it eventually comes back to you, universal law, Babylon shall fall.
Chorus
I pray for peace in times of war
- Whistling Solo -
Destruction of Civilizations past is consequence of forests thrashed, the air you breathe comes directly from trees, What goes up must come back down, what goes around comes back around, the things you do shall be done unto you.
Chorus
I pray for light in times of darkness"-- Paula Fuga

My current dedication to him is inspired by Ricci- himself, a wonderful woman I know named Maura, Ricci's previous preschool teacher last year, and our current world. The song is "My Own Two hands," by Ben Harper. It is beautiful. The notion that there is agency within all of us. We can construct the world with our own caring and love. Ben Harper sings this with Jack Johnson, and both of these men promote a love for our fellow world citizens as well as our planet. There is no doubt life can be hard, but on Tuesday we saw that people can change the world a little bit at a time. I feel that Maura and Ricci's teacher both teach a sense of community and allegiance to one another; to celebrate our diversity and to respect ourselves by giving dignity to those around us. I hope that Ricci takes that sense of caring with him into his life and continues to love the people in his life and in his path. I see him sharing with friends who need the attention, and the respect, and I see his sensitive soul. I hope that he learns there is power in his small hands.

I know that was a LONG post, but thank you for reading! Check out the songs if you are unfamiliar, they are great to listen to and enjoy the feelings!

Funny little man!

I haven't shared much on my journey, as currently not much is happening in terms of "progress." We are all finished with Ricci's allocated time with his OT, and now we wait! The OT wanted to know what our next step is, and I will tell you what I told him. "We have calls in to various programs, and all we can do is be patient." He said yes,Ricci is very bright and a great negotiator so when people see him they are unaware of why he needs help, but when he is overstimulated it all "falls apart." So onward we press with lots and lots of phone calls!

In the mean time, I spend more time with Ricci than I have since his infancy. He comes to work with me, and I am one of his teachers, so I get to see him in action. He is what I like to call, a "contrarian." Which means he doesn't like to go with the flow, EVER!

He doesn't want snack when everyone sits at snack, he wants to run around for at least a minute, THEN and only THEN does he want snack, unless its ice cream day, but BIG surprise there. He's a contrarian, not ridiculous!

He refuses to sit in circle, he wants to do an "activity." He wiggles, he lays down, he wiggles his feet in the air, and no rolls around on the floor or tries to escape to dramatic play. At lunch he stands up at least every five minutes unless a teacher is seated RIGHT next to him and stroking his back or something to that effect.

But in spite of all this, he is FUNNY. At least most of the time. And the other day we were talking about when he was a baby in "mommy's tummy." Ricci told me that I "burped him out." I said "I did? Then what?" To which replied:

" I popped out, and you said 'better to waste it then to waste and taste it.'"
And what he was trying to say, was that "It's better to burp and taste it, then to fart, and waste it." Yep, that's my little guy. And no I did not teach him that... but that would be a part of a story called "The World According to a Sopranasello."

Take care until next time!

Wow!

Okay, first, I am so excited that my son will live in this world we are currently creating. So many Americans got out there and voted and yesterday we saw the power of the people come to life! We have the first African American president now, and Barack Obama brings grace to our country and humility. He asks us to be open, honest, and invites our nation to engage. I am so excited as Obama supports Early Childhood Education, Social programs, and findng way to care for one another in our country and abroad. I have hope! We can be tolerant and intelligent, and strong as a nation, and I hope we can join together. I hope my son will grow up in a nation where we respect differences, and try to learn to understand each other through information and research moving beyond appearances, race, gender, class, and truly learn to love each other. We can be dignified. Yes, we can!

A New Wave

Well, today I think there was some progress. I took Ricci to his group class, and after the Occupational Therapist came to get him. I listened to the OT and Ricci as they worked together, and at the end of class they were doing an exciting little thing where Ricci laid on a little device with wheels. It looked like a mini furniture Dolley. While Ricci laid on the "scooter," the OT pulled him with a rope up and down the hallways. It was I learned an activity which strengthens the core and later helps children to sit and focus better. Ricci loved it!

On his way down the hall, he saw his group teacher and she cheered him on, and at the end of it all, he felt very accomplished.

I really enjoyed the exchange between Ricci and the OT. As they came down the hall, the OT said, "let's wheel down to your mom." Ricci complied, and the OT said, "Good job," Ricci said "thanks, good job, (OT's name)"
The OT just said, "Well, I'm not doing much, you are. "
Then he followed with, "You are going really fast with your feet up like that."
Ricci, "Yeah."

It was pretty cool. Then I had the chance to talk to his group instructor. I explained about the obstinate behavior, asked her how he was doing socially, and expressed my concerns over safety. She said he does great in class with friends. He shares, and can even be a leader in dramatic play as he has the most language. She said he does refuse to do things, and that sometimes his consequence will have to be that he misses out on things. Then with the safety, she said maybe we should get another assessment with the school district. So, I suppose we made a little wave of progress today. So, now we need to talk with our case manager.

Can't wait to see what next week brings...

Challenged and Blessed in Ricci's World

Okay, so many of us have thought about parts of our childhood and thought, " I will never be like my parents..." I will never scream, or freak out, or get frustrated, right? WRONG! I decided recently that I am unsure who I am on many occasions. I have worked in Child Development for kind of awhile, and I know many tools, but there are times when working with my son, I flex my muscles and still feel as though I cannot find the best solution.

Danger is apparently my son's middle name. He thinks that doors are meant to be open, and not figuratively, oh NO, quite literally. So at our new school, he sometimes likes to follow the occasional parent downstairs, or simply leave the playground and go into the classroom while the children are playing outside. The teachers and I have made every effort to convey to Ricci that this is simply NOT SAFE. He has other intentions. Again, I look for the "good idea." I explain that while he may want to go inside and play with something in the classroom, that while we are all outside, he cannot leave.Finally, after redirecting, and explaining, the consequence is the dreaded "Time Out." I hate the "time out." I much prefer to send him after another adventure, but safety is an area of great concern for us.

Today Ricci's teacher informed me like many have, that he seems to have a hard time listening, even when they know he can hear them. Is he just obstinant, or is it part of the whole processing issue. We have made little headway in his group as his teacher has many of the same issues and she too feels challenged by Mr. "I don't want to..."

We have about four more weeks of the group class and around 5 weeks with the OT, so hopefully more will happen in that time. Right now I see a little boy so eager to experience his world, and sometimes he is soo eager, that others shy away from his zeal. This as a mother and teacher is hard to watch. As a teacher I often silently cheer on the "underdog." As a mother it breaks my heart to see children tell my son that they do not want to play with him. Or watch others remark to their friends, "Let's get out of here," and leave my little boy alone.

Last week, I watched as he went and say under the structure, all alone. Somehow he had alienated himself. The hard part is that I know the other side of him. The side that had so many friends. He was the life of his class, and he had many friends. Many of them left for Kindergarten, and so we felt that the transition would be okay, as his friends would not be there this year. But coming into a class where the cliques are already established (yes, even in Pre-K) and children know each other from last year and maybe even the year before, it is hard for a boundary pusher like my son to simply fit in.

Conformity. One of Ricci's teachers reminded me about this word. She mentioned that her son was also in need of some additional assistance, and he she mentioned had to work to conform, and each year a little bit more.

To me that seems so AWFUL. I see this huge shining spirit, and even in my darkest, most frustrated moments, there is a window of light where I see who Ricci truly is and how I must support this light and help him grow. Tools for success, "H" yes, but conformity, well, maybe just enough to where he can work with others. Every mother wants to feel that their child will be valued and loved by others. I too want this, but I want this for Ricci as Ricci. He needs to find value in himself, and to learn to reveal that side of himself. I get to see the little boy who on weekends helps me dances and sings while we make breakfast and dance to "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson, and sings "Ghost Town," by The Specials and moves his head perfectly to the music. This little boy rejected by his classmates right now, gives me so much love. I cherish my time in Ricci's world! I am blessed even when I'm challenged!

On our way...

So, as mentioned before, my little guy is in a group class. We completed our second week, and it seems to be going well, except, I am really unsure what is changing... if anything. So far, I see that Ricci is oh so smart. He talks A LOT. Full fantasies, stories, arguments, etc, so what we are dealing with here is in NO way related to his intelligence. However, at times, my delightful son simply refuses to respond to people, and is so "wound up" that he cannot focus long enough to convey this intelligence.

For example, first day at group: We enter, Ricci bee lines for the wooden toy fire department, and can I blame him, no way, I meant it is REALLY super cool! He plays, the teacher gives him the space to do so as it is his first time. She reminds him that this time it is okay, but later he will have to clean up and he will have to join in later. He ignores all of this. The other children are working on opposites, Ricci glances over and continues to do "his own thing." then the teacher starts a new activity where they thread shapes into a mobile. She asks the children to pick shapes, and Ricci joins in for this activity. He knows every shape. The other children do not. Ricci is nonchalant, and then uses his "teaser." He names all the shapes, their colors, then gets up to go play again. This is when the teacher must redirect. I also try to do so. I then make the decision to wait outside knowing full well some of this behavior is for me. Apparently I was right, he does great after I go to the parent room.

Another similar situation: I work with Ricci on name recognition, as he is in the Pre-k range now. So, I name his letters, and point to them. I use all different things, like name tracing, name painting, just using letter blocks, you get the idea. Brainwashing is in place! So I ask my son, "what does this say?" and he replies, "It says doggy!" Of course, I am frustrated. I end up letting it go, and then later the same day, we are looking at the letters, I get up and he points and names, "I-C-C-I" I look at him and say, oh you know your letters, he mockingly repeats the same thing, and then runs off.

So here I am wondering, just what does he know, And so we played a shape game, he new every shape, even an octagon. So in other words, he knows a great deal more than what I'm aware of, and every once in awhile he is willing to reveal a little more to me.

We have two more weeks until we start with the Occupational Therapist, and I hope more will come clear at this time, but for now, I just try to figure out where this little man is coming from, and how best to understand his world.