Well, the new school still kicks serious butt! Ricci is in the midst of an evaluation of what medication works best. During the IEP and the week following, Ricci displayed signs of a strange tic like behavior in his neck, this is a side effect of medication and to be honest, it freaked his dad and me out…. A LOT!
So we tried letting him clear the medication out of his system, and in the process Ricci had some rough days at school where he couldn’t focus for even a few seconds. He flipped pencils, defied teachers, and told the staff, he simply could not do anything because his mother did NOT GIVE HIM MEDICINE!!!
Let me explain the morning, "Ricci here’s breakfast", he starts eating, then says, “Mom, where is my medicine?” (We usually give it to him in yogurt, I didn’t mention it because his father asked that we give him time) "Ricci your fine, today you don’t need it". He said ok and carried on eating and joking at the table as usual. Well, apparently he somehow decided this was unacceptable….
So with that information, let me continue… Ricci had such an “interesting” day that he actually ended up in the principal’s office and explained to the principal that he couldn’t work without medication. I have no idea where this belief came from as he never learned why he was taking this medication, it is just part of our routine. At any rate the amazing staff at BV called us and asked to keep lines of communication open and that we keep them posted on Ricci’s progress, input from his psychiatrist, etc. In the three almost four weeks at the new school, Ricci’s teacher has touched base with me in person and on the phone more than the entire team did at Sunnyside… In fact, at Sunnyside, when he changed medication, I asked the teacher to share with me how it went, and when she called me she said all was well. However, his aid wrote a very detailed account on how hard his day was and how he had a very difficult time. In other words at the other school, the aid WAS his teacher and primary point of contact for us, and the teacher was too busy to be bothered… she didn’t see Ricci unless he made problems directly for her!
Well, the medication assessment continues. I took Ricci Saturday to the psychiatrist, and we are exploring a couple different options. One is to return to using Dexedrine. This time at 20mg. We talk daily to the teacher, she calls us with updates, and Tuesday this week he had another difficult day. He decided to play the part of Dylan McKay of Beverly Hills 90210… but in elementary school and he lurked on the playground periphery- hood up adrift from his peers … the loner …the misunderstood outsider. This is not to diminish the difficulty in meeting people at a new school, but to simply note that my beautiful, silly boy also has a dramatic, lonely- artist side. He asked as a reward for last week’s good behavior to have a notebook to sketch in at school during recess… in lieu of playing with friends.
So yesterday Ricci took his recommended increased dose of Dexedrine, and he had a stellar golden Ticket day… NO JOKE it was truly a golden Ticket day, he got a Golden Ticket from his math teacher. Then he had a great day with Aunt Anielle… with only minor strange behavior like asking every three minutes if he could tell her something (even thought regardless of the answer the adult gives he will indeed tell one something), but the twist came at 8:00 p.m. after story time. Ricci sat there as I fought to stay awake with my cold in full swing, with his eyes wide open continuing to tell me many many “somethings” and I finally left him hoping he’d fall asleep. Instead he yelled from the bedroom that he could hear the almost silent television. He also got up to try to catch the “mice on the roof through the transporter..” with a broom, and then he needed to go outside to get the animas to be quiet, then he removed his blankets from the bed, and made anew bed on the floor…. Decided he no longer needed pillows once I directed him back to bed citing the many benefits of sleeping flat on the memory foam mattress…..and so on and so on until 11:00 p.m. At this point I once again layed down with him coaxing him to sleep. He finally relaxed at 11:30……… It was what I imagine a meth addict to seem like, and it was scary, freaky, disturbing, etc…
But today is a new day, he woke up happy, loving, “normal” and ate his breakfast, took his once again lowered dose of medication. We sat talking on the couch and I told him I hope he has a perfect day (meaning fun and positive) and that he makes lots of friends, and he told me he would (I love his courage!) I crossed my fingers as he left for school with his dad and hoped deep inside that today would truly be a great day for my Ricci!!
………….And then I called his psychiatrist!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Mission Not- Impossible
Here’s to new beginnings… working toward a new home, new outlook, new school for Ricci, and new possibilities. Ricci started at a new school a few weeks ago and per the IEP laws, they had 30 days to evaluate him and create their goals and Education plan.
I have been to many of these meetings for Ricci and some were awesome, and some were, well let’s say…. Not so much…... I've been told, "Oh he'll get better, it just takes time, after the medication they just catch up..." And I've been reminded of the painful fact that Ricci requires up to twenty verbal prompts and maybe ten physical prompts to stay in his seat. That he takes away from other students, and I've even had a teacher blame his behavior on the fact that he has been "enabled."
Here at this new school, I was blown away and I mean that in a positive, new hope, super excited way. And I owe it to a brand new teacher, in her first year, equipped with her passion, her innovation, and her fortitude. At the IEP, it had only been two weeks, and so I will not say that I expect it to be perfect all year, in fact we already had one minor hiccup, but I know that this teacher and this team is DIFFERENT! The team presented us with tangible goals and concrete strategies they plan to use to help modify behavior...which honestly is the primary thing holding Ricci back!
I knew this on day four when we received the class weekly newsletter and she introduced Ricci as a little second grader who "loves to draw," while this may seem like a minor detail, it is huge because in five days with my son, this brand spanking new, ball of light of a teacher, actually SEES Ricci. She sees his interests, and she listed it as his strength publicly. She honored my son to the class and the community of families, and in doing so she did something I have not seen in my entire time walking Ricci through the school experience.
Then they called me to have his IEP on week two, and already they had strong observations on his triggers, they learned how to push through those triggers and then to reward him with physical activity in order to motivate him!
I sat across the table, 36, in my fourth year of IEP’s grinning and nodding, and hopeful at this new school and their understanding of Ricci’s true needs to move, and that he was not defying them on purpose, but that to him focusing all his energy on a worksheet takes all he has...usually lasting only about eight minutes... (they documented this too!!), and they pushed him in those eight minutes and then recognized he needed breaks to concentrate. I could feel my hope building when all of a sudden that lovely ball of light, that brand new teacher said the words that made me realize this is where Ricci is supposed to be in this very minute, in this time of flux, he has finally found someone other than his dad, Scarlett, Papa, Aunt Anielle, Aunt "Ananaannne," and the rest of our most likely undiagnosed-special needs family,.. that GETS HIM!!!!
The young light emittining teacher said,“When Ricci gets anxious and needs to get out, I sometimes send him on secret missions, I might say ‘go check the swings, the janitor needs to know if any are broken..”
Secret Missions, what a stroke of genius, and to the boy who feels he is a super hero- ninja- fighter for justice, these missions are perfect…. And then she shared how after reading a book involving a scavenger hunt, she allowed Ricci to create signs around the school to lead his own class on a hunt; therefore motivating him to produce three independent writing samples, to lead his class. The teacher explained how she didn't knwo what Ricci had planned for his much anticipated treasure waiting at room eight, but that she let him lead, The hunt ended in him taking them back to room eight where the treasure was simply a Lego figure hiding in his backpack, and the kids loved it….
Listening to these details of Ricci’s first days in room 8, I fought so hard to hold back tears of appreciation for this beautiful shiny soul sitting across from me. (She was probably looking at me thinking, whoa! What the heck is wrong with this woman!!!???) masquerading as a simple second grade teacher in her first year of teaching, and I thought, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY...this lady can do it, she can teach Ricci that school is fun; learning is fun.. and that this finally is not an impossible mission to ask of the education system!
I have been to many of these meetings for Ricci and some were awesome, and some were, well let’s say…. Not so much…... I've been told, "Oh he'll get better, it just takes time, after the medication they just catch up..." And I've been reminded of the painful fact that Ricci requires up to twenty verbal prompts and maybe ten physical prompts to stay in his seat. That he takes away from other students, and I've even had a teacher blame his behavior on the fact that he has been "enabled."
Here at this new school, I was blown away and I mean that in a positive, new hope, super excited way. And I owe it to a brand new teacher, in her first year, equipped with her passion, her innovation, and her fortitude. At the IEP, it had only been two weeks, and so I will not say that I expect it to be perfect all year, in fact we already had one minor hiccup, but I know that this teacher and this team is DIFFERENT! The team presented us with tangible goals and concrete strategies they plan to use to help modify behavior...which honestly is the primary thing holding Ricci back!
I knew this on day four when we received the class weekly newsletter and she introduced Ricci as a little second grader who "loves to draw," while this may seem like a minor detail, it is huge because in five days with my son, this brand spanking new, ball of light of a teacher, actually SEES Ricci. She sees his interests, and she listed it as his strength publicly. She honored my son to the class and the community of families, and in doing so she did something I have not seen in my entire time walking Ricci through the school experience.
Then they called me to have his IEP on week two, and already they had strong observations on his triggers, they learned how to push through those triggers and then to reward him with physical activity in order to motivate him!
I sat across the table, 36, in my fourth year of IEP’s grinning and nodding, and hopeful at this new school and their understanding of Ricci’s true needs to move, and that he was not defying them on purpose, but that to him focusing all his energy on a worksheet takes all he has...usually lasting only about eight minutes... (they documented this too!!), and they pushed him in those eight minutes and then recognized he needed breaks to concentrate. I could feel my hope building when all of a sudden that lovely ball of light, that brand new teacher said the words that made me realize this is where Ricci is supposed to be in this very minute, in this time of flux, he has finally found someone other than his dad, Scarlett, Papa, Aunt Anielle, Aunt "Ananaannne," and the rest of our most likely undiagnosed-special needs family,.. that GETS HIM!!!!
The young light emittining teacher said,“When Ricci gets anxious and needs to get out, I sometimes send him on secret missions, I might say ‘go check the swings, the janitor needs to know if any are broken..”
Secret Missions, what a stroke of genius, and to the boy who feels he is a super hero- ninja- fighter for justice, these missions are perfect…. And then she shared how after reading a book involving a scavenger hunt, she allowed Ricci to create signs around the school to lead his own class on a hunt; therefore motivating him to produce three independent writing samples, to lead his class. The teacher explained how she didn't knwo what Ricci had planned for his much anticipated treasure waiting at room eight, but that she let him lead, The hunt ended in him taking them back to room eight where the treasure was simply a Lego figure hiding in his backpack, and the kids loved it….
Listening to these details of Ricci’s first days in room 8, I fought so hard to hold back tears of appreciation for this beautiful shiny soul sitting across from me. (She was probably looking at me thinking, whoa! What the heck is wrong with this woman!!!???) masquerading as a simple second grade teacher in her first year of teaching, and I thought, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY...this lady can do it, she can teach Ricci that school is fun; learning is fun.. and that this finally is not an impossible mission to ask of the education system!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Time flies when you're in Grad School
It has been a very long time since I posted here and so much about Ricci continues to change. I have no true excuse why I have lacked the discipline and fortitude to keep this process updated, other than work, Grad school, oh and Ricci...
So as I sit here with the quiet converging on my mind, I thought now I need to discuss Ricci.I face the last weeks of my program and as this wraps up, I realize that there has been this urgency as part of my life for the past three years and once its gone, I wonder will I be able to slow down and just be present with my son.
I started Graduate school right before I found out Ricci's father and I would not work, so I faced the untimely choice of do I continue this program, working as a preschool teacher single mom, with a four year old Special Needs son, or do I quit... I chose to push through.
In fact I think that the pushing through became the escape. I put on my crash helmet and barreled straight ahead "pushing through" and "pushing away" the best I could. However, now on this end as I feel the urgency shift to accomplishment, but I can't help but wonder if Graduate School and Ricci worked as an excuse to barrel through life. These hefty diversions kept me from the toxic pity party of slowing down to grieve for the loss of my relationship, my family, the home I created, and most of all it allowed me to construct a world of rushing and over-planning, of excessive caffeine, and work outs, which thus prevented me from sitting down and building Legos, and playing ice cream parlor, and seeing that perhaps part of the anxiety and ADHD tendencies which rattle my sons existence might possibly be personality shrapnel he got from his spazzing mother!
I do of course know that a large part of Ricci's behavior is neurological. He has Asperger's and ADHD. The ADHD however is the part I hear about most, and while its part of his brain's chemistry, I can't help but feel I made it worse. In fact I had to face that there are indeed times when I refuse to slow down long enough to let him fail, or to do something himself until I had his teacher tell me the first week of second grade that she can't help but think that SOMEONE enabled him (GASP!!!!)--- (who????) as she looked straight at me... I turned around to see if his dad had walked in... but then the reality hit, she meant me! It wasn't until I was at home trying to get ready to go somewhere, that I faced the fact that....yes it was me! I maybe didn't create the issue, but I for sure perpetuated it!
SO I faced the blaring music...and realized, if I didn't slow down, how could I expect him to, and that if I refuse to let him fail, I not only protect him from the feeling of failure, but I also deprive him of the feeling of pride.
And so, I armed Ricci with the only tool I could, after years of OT, and super nutrition, guidance in expression, behavior therapy, and so much patience, I finally agreed to try medication. This is something that I loathe each and everyday. I give my seven year old son medication so that his teachers can manage him. I swallow this reality each morning as he takes his pill with Trader Joe's yogurt, and as I digest this paradox, I let the anger, guilt, and frustration pass through my system.
I felt so terrible, until one day, sitting at the kitchen table, Ricci took his pencil, refused my help, and completed two pages of math entirely on his own, and did it correctly! I felt like I was looking at Leo the late bloomer and he was staring at me saying, "I made it!" After three years of prompting Ricci every twenty seconds during homework, and redirecting him for the torturous thirty minutes of allotted time for his modified homework, my son took the bull by the horns and he did it all on his own!
It was at this moment that I realized how much he's grown, that all his independence culminated at that moment and he was ready to be Ricci, and I needed to stop hovering, rushing, forcing and pleading. My son is seven now, I am forced to see that time flies when you're in Grad school, but now its time to slow down!
So as I sit here with the quiet converging on my mind, I thought now I need to discuss Ricci.I face the last weeks of my program and as this wraps up, I realize that there has been this urgency as part of my life for the past three years and once its gone, I wonder will I be able to slow down and just be present with my son.
I started Graduate school right before I found out Ricci's father and I would not work, so I faced the untimely choice of do I continue this program, working as a preschool teacher single mom, with a four year old Special Needs son, or do I quit... I chose to push through.
In fact I think that the pushing through became the escape. I put on my crash helmet and barreled straight ahead "pushing through" and "pushing away" the best I could. However, now on this end as I feel the urgency shift to accomplishment, but I can't help but wonder if Graduate School and Ricci worked as an excuse to barrel through life. These hefty diversions kept me from the toxic pity party of slowing down to grieve for the loss of my relationship, my family, the home I created, and most of all it allowed me to construct a world of rushing and over-planning, of excessive caffeine, and work outs, which thus prevented me from sitting down and building Legos, and playing ice cream parlor, and seeing that perhaps part of the anxiety and ADHD tendencies which rattle my sons existence might possibly be personality shrapnel he got from his spazzing mother!
I do of course know that a large part of Ricci's behavior is neurological. He has Asperger's and ADHD. The ADHD however is the part I hear about most, and while its part of his brain's chemistry, I can't help but feel I made it worse. In fact I had to face that there are indeed times when I refuse to slow down long enough to let him fail, or to do something himself until I had his teacher tell me the first week of second grade that she can't help but think that SOMEONE enabled him (GASP!!!!)--- (who????) as she looked straight at me... I turned around to see if his dad had walked in... but then the reality hit, she meant me! It wasn't until I was at home trying to get ready to go somewhere, that I faced the fact that....yes it was me! I maybe didn't create the issue, but I for sure perpetuated it!
SO I faced the blaring music...and realized, if I didn't slow down, how could I expect him to, and that if I refuse to let him fail, I not only protect him from the feeling of failure, but I also deprive him of the feeling of pride.
And so, I armed Ricci with the only tool I could, after years of OT, and super nutrition, guidance in expression, behavior therapy, and so much patience, I finally agreed to try medication. This is something that I loathe each and everyday. I give my seven year old son medication so that his teachers can manage him. I swallow this reality each morning as he takes his pill with Trader Joe's yogurt, and as I digest this paradox, I let the anger, guilt, and frustration pass through my system.
I felt so terrible, until one day, sitting at the kitchen table, Ricci took his pencil, refused my help, and completed two pages of math entirely on his own, and did it correctly! I felt like I was looking at Leo the late bloomer and he was staring at me saying, "I made it!" After three years of prompting Ricci every twenty seconds during homework, and redirecting him for the torturous thirty minutes of allotted time for his modified homework, my son took the bull by the horns and he did it all on his own!
It was at this moment that I realized how much he's grown, that all his independence culminated at that moment and he was ready to be Ricci, and I needed to stop hovering, rushing, forcing and pleading. My son is seven now, I am forced to see that time flies when you're in Grad school, but now its time to slow down!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Facebook
“Before you cross the street, take my hand, Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans…” Ricci, I know you and I have indeed battled our share of monsters in the last two years… you continue to amaze me with your fortitude and intrigue me with your spirit. I am blessed to be your mother. I know that each day you face challenges at school; I know there are days when you are terrified. I know at times you feel you have to choose between your daddy and me, but know this; You are loved ….profoundly and unconditionally by us both, in separate homes, and through each storm, we are here. I am humbled by your strength and your ability to light up the world around you. Thank you for being you, and by truly teaching me patience, and showing me how to love….“Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer, Beautiful beautiful boy….” I had a wonderful Mother's Day with you
“Before you cross the street, take my hand, Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans…” Ricci, I know you and I have indeed battled our share of monsters in the last two years… you continue to amaze me with your fortitude and intrigue me with your spirit. I am blessed to be your mother. I know that each day you face challenges at school; I know there are days when you are terrified. I know at times you feel you have to choose between your daddy and me, but know this; You are loved ….profoundly and unconditionally by us both, in separate homes, and through each storm, we are here. I am humbled by your strength and your ability to light up the world around you. Thank you for being you, and by truly teaching me patience, and showing me how to love….“Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer, Beautiful beautiful boy….” I had a wonderful Mother's Day with you
Friday, July 31, 2009
"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon
Yes, Kindergarten is coming, ready or not! So, Ricci is turning five in ummm.... 20 days! I cannot believe this! Recently I was at our old house taking pictures out and belongings to my new apartment, and I just could not help reflecting. Many new things are happening and Ricci's and my lives are completely different now than they were this time last year!
Last year we went to Kona as a family, and I felt as I approached Graduate School that as a family we were moving in a direction where we would give our son so much...
So as I packed things away and sorted through the past 12 years of my life, I found baby pictures, where Ricci's dad and I were giddy in love with our little cherub and just so silly happy (maybe it was sleep deprivation, who knows) and I think, "what happened?!" Of course I know what happened; life. Things change in a heartbeat, we all know it, movies are made about it, but we never dream life will happen to us... John Lennon did say in "Beautiful Boy," for his son (mine and Ricci's song :) ), "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..." and I guess that as I was planning to give Ricci the world, life happened, and now I can only give him my heart...
Last week Ricci walked out of school, that' s right walked downstairs, opened the doors, and walked out to the parking lot.... ALONE! Terrifying, um YES! So kindergarten seems scary.... OF COURSE! Right now Ricci is sleeping on my bed, he came in here talking in his sleep, and climbed on my bed as I typed and he fell asleep again. I look at his sweet face, his perfect little heart shaped lips, with his blond eyebrows, and loooooong lashes, and I think, "How can I protect you, (seriously) how?!!!!" And Alone!!!?
I remember praying and begging God to give me a child, and when I was finally pregnant, begging God to let me stay pregnant and to let Ricci's dad and me keep this amazing little soul, I even promised not to ask for anymore! As he grew in infancy I worried about keeping him safe every second until my mom finally told me that I would wake up and realize I was not enjoying his infancy because I spent it worrying, and it would pass me by... so I eased up little by little.
Now, I just want to hold onto him, and freeze time and keep him with me! (It's a little like Robert Munsch's book, "I'll Love you Forever," where the mom sneaks into the son's room over the years and rocks him back and forth and back and forth (even as an adult she seriously drives across town... kinda gets weird, honestly) and sings, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." Of course we all feel this way about our children... and as he grows I think will I ever stop wanting to hold him and protect him? (Let's hope so because that could get awkward in adolescence.)
Next year he won't be with me at school anymore, and for the first time in his life we will be apart! I wonder who needs who? Do I need to protect him, or does he need protecting!? Honestly, he needs the freedom to learn and discover in a new setting away from mom completely, but will the new teachers love him like my co-workers always have, will they know to watch him sooo close!? Will he drive them crazy and will he then hate school!? I have been spoiled! I share custody with his dad but see him everyday because he attends my school... who else gets that lucky in a divorce!? I see each day how his day goes, and can observe his progress.
So, now I have to learn to let go... at least I know he has the IEP, and the resource specialist plans to meet with him daily!!! He will also go to an OT once a week! The plans are in order, but this is life and who knows how school will go...
Thus, a new journey begins for Ricci, and for his momma! I have to realize that my son is his own person, and I can try to help guide him, but cannot control his path... (deep sigh) So as I sit here typing and daydreaming about our new path, and the kind of person Ricci will be... I again have to learn to cherish the small moments, slow down, enjoy the discomfort and beauty in our lives and understand that life is happening right now, and the plans I have for my son are just plans... So I ask God to watch over my son, and give me the strength to be patient.
Last year we went to Kona as a family, and I felt as I approached Graduate School that as a family we were moving in a direction where we would give our son so much...
So as I packed things away and sorted through the past 12 years of my life, I found baby pictures, where Ricci's dad and I were giddy in love with our little cherub and just so silly happy (maybe it was sleep deprivation, who knows) and I think, "what happened?!" Of course I know what happened; life. Things change in a heartbeat, we all know it, movies are made about it, but we never dream life will happen to us... John Lennon did say in "Beautiful Boy," for his son (mine and Ricci's song :) ), "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..." and I guess that as I was planning to give Ricci the world, life happened, and now I can only give him my heart...
Last week Ricci walked out of school, that' s right walked downstairs, opened the doors, and walked out to the parking lot.... ALONE! Terrifying, um YES! So kindergarten seems scary.... OF COURSE! Right now Ricci is sleeping on my bed, he came in here talking in his sleep, and climbed on my bed as I typed and he fell asleep again. I look at his sweet face, his perfect little heart shaped lips, with his blond eyebrows, and loooooong lashes, and I think, "How can I protect you, (seriously) how?!!!!" And Alone!!!?
I remember praying and begging God to give me a child, and when I was finally pregnant, begging God to let me stay pregnant and to let Ricci's dad and me keep this amazing little soul, I even promised not to ask for anymore! As he grew in infancy I worried about keeping him safe every second until my mom finally told me that I would wake up and realize I was not enjoying his infancy because I spent it worrying, and it would pass me by... so I eased up little by little.
Now, I just want to hold onto him, and freeze time and keep him with me! (It's a little like Robert Munsch's book, "I'll Love you Forever," where the mom sneaks into the son's room over the years and rocks him back and forth and back and forth (even as an adult she seriously drives across town... kinda gets weird, honestly) and sings, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." Of course we all feel this way about our children... and as he grows I think will I ever stop wanting to hold him and protect him? (Let's hope so because that could get awkward in adolescence.)
Next year he won't be with me at school anymore, and for the first time in his life we will be apart! I wonder who needs who? Do I need to protect him, or does he need protecting!? Honestly, he needs the freedom to learn and discover in a new setting away from mom completely, but will the new teachers love him like my co-workers always have, will they know to watch him sooo close!? Will he drive them crazy and will he then hate school!? I have been spoiled! I share custody with his dad but see him everyday because he attends my school... who else gets that lucky in a divorce!? I see each day how his day goes, and can observe his progress.
So, now I have to learn to let go... at least I know he has the IEP, and the resource specialist plans to meet with him daily!!! He will also go to an OT once a week! The plans are in order, but this is life and who knows how school will go...
Thus, a new journey begins for Ricci, and for his momma! I have to realize that my son is his own person, and I can try to help guide him, but cannot control his path... (deep sigh) So as I sit here typing and daydreaming about our new path, and the kind of person Ricci will be... I again have to learn to cherish the small moments, slow down, enjoy the discomfort and beauty in our lives and understand that life is happening right now, and the plans I have for my son are just plans... So I ask God to watch over my son, and give me the strength to be patient.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Hurray for an IEP
Well, I have not written on this blog for so long. Many things have changed. Ricci's father and I separated as I found out there was another woman, and I found out on the date of my last blog. Ricci and I lived with family for awhile and now we live together, so needless to say, Ricci's world changed a great deal.
Thanks to some wonderful friends, and my super amazing family, we are doing well. Ricci's assessment slowed considerably at the end of the year and picked up recently. A Child Psychologist came to observe him at school about a month ago, and then we had a meeting, she thought he seemed like a "normal kiddo," and was greatly surprised when his father and I shared our concerns about his sensory seeking behavior. At that time, they decided to re-evaluate him and have him meet with an OT.
He is just plain fearless, and it is scary!
Well, vindication came, in the form of an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan), last Wednesday April 1st. Ricci was fortunate enough to meet with the Occupational Therapist the week before. I advocated for a meeting with an OT, from the beginning of the school district assessment, and ta da!!!!... they found him to be inattentive and highly sensory seeking, and his "disability" will fall under Health and Safety, and the large concern is that it impedes his learning. It sounds interesting that a mother would want a "label" for her child, but let me say that all that means is that he now qualifies for services through the school district. It is imperative as a parent to frame a learning disability as a primarily a different means of evaluating and processing the world, and for Ricci that means that he constantly seeks stimulus. It may be physical by jumping or pushing into the wall like a cat, or bouncing on furniture, sometimes he climbs, and he also wants to put things in his mouth a lot even though he is four and a half years old.
In my first blog, I mentioned a book called, "The Out of Sync Child," it discusses many versions of sensory processing disorders. There are children which are very sensory avoiding and hate loud sounds, touch, and bright lights. My son is underresponsive and likes touch, and seeks it by barrelling full force into family and friends, and will chew on any toy, and when he hugs someone, he will pinch and squeeze their neck and face. It is all very exhausting for new adults, but for Ricci's dad, me, and his suntie Danielle, we all know and accept that he is perhap the next Johnny Knoxville, or future Xtreme Sport Athlete. No, all kidding aside, it has been a frustrating path, but now we have a new route, and I am both excited and nervous for what the future has to offer my little boy!
He is bright, but at the same time, it is always difficult for anyone to access what he knows. So at the IEP meeting, they set goals for him, arranged for him to meet with the OT to work out strategies for self regulation and calming so that he can eventually remain focused in a classroom setting.
So, we have come full circle, yet it is just the beginning. Ricci is an amazing little soul, he is bright, cheerful, strong- willed, and adventurous, and now, he can begin a journey to help him understand how he processes his version of the world we live in! Hurray IEP!
Thanks to some wonderful friends, and my super amazing family, we are doing well. Ricci's assessment slowed considerably at the end of the year and picked up recently. A Child Psychologist came to observe him at school about a month ago, and then we had a meeting, she thought he seemed like a "normal kiddo," and was greatly surprised when his father and I shared our concerns about his sensory seeking behavior. At that time, they decided to re-evaluate him and have him meet with an OT.
He is just plain fearless, and it is scary!
Well, vindication came, in the form of an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan), last Wednesday April 1st. Ricci was fortunate enough to meet with the Occupational Therapist the week before. I advocated for a meeting with an OT, from the beginning of the school district assessment, and ta da!!!!... they found him to be inattentive and highly sensory seeking, and his "disability" will fall under Health and Safety, and the large concern is that it impedes his learning. It sounds interesting that a mother would want a "label" for her child, but let me say that all that means is that he now qualifies for services through the school district. It is imperative as a parent to frame a learning disability as a primarily a different means of evaluating and processing the world, and for Ricci that means that he constantly seeks stimulus. It may be physical by jumping or pushing into the wall like a cat, or bouncing on furniture, sometimes he climbs, and he also wants to put things in his mouth a lot even though he is four and a half years old.
In my first blog, I mentioned a book called, "The Out of Sync Child," it discusses many versions of sensory processing disorders. There are children which are very sensory avoiding and hate loud sounds, touch, and bright lights. My son is underresponsive and likes touch, and seeks it by barrelling full force into family and friends, and will chew on any toy, and when he hugs someone, he will pinch and squeeze their neck and face. It is all very exhausting for new adults, but for Ricci's dad, me, and his suntie Danielle, we all know and accept that he is perhap the next Johnny Knoxville, or future Xtreme Sport Athlete. No, all kidding aside, it has been a frustrating path, but now we have a new route, and I am both excited and nervous for what the future has to offer my little boy!
He is bright, but at the same time, it is always difficult for anyone to access what he knows. So at the IEP meeting, they set goals for him, arranged for him to meet with the OT to work out strategies for self regulation and calming so that he can eventually remain focused in a classroom setting.
So, we have come full circle, yet it is just the beginning. Ricci is an amazing little soul, he is bright, cheerful, strong- willed, and adventurous, and now, he can begin a journey to help him understand how he processes his version of the world we live in! Hurray IEP!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Progress?
So, Ricci was observed in class last week. He apparently did pretty well, however the nice lady said she could still see it is difficult to focus for him. She and I could not talk together, but she left me a nice message. She will return on Friday to help provide classroom support for him! His teacher believes he might have some ADD tendencies, but said it is all part of a puzzle and the key is to find the pieces.
I agree, and like that analogy. He changes so much that what was a problem in Spring at the beginning of the process might be different. Now, it is improving, but the focusing issues are still not there.
Yesterday getting into the car for example. I open the door and say "okay climb in and start to buckle your car seat and I will help you finish."
He gets in- half way, reaches for a toy on the ground. Talks to the toy. Reaches for a catalog on the other side, then turns around and looks on the other side of the car seat. (Yes, my car is FULL of toys and toy catalogs.) I finally put him in the car seat. I buckle him as he sings and play with his toy. Oblivious to what I'm doing, or seemingly oblivious, I should say.
Well, I also had the local school district call me Thursday, ask TONS of questions, and then Friday POOF! a child psychologist left a message for me to bring Ricci in this week. So, we shall see. Cross your fingers friends, this MIGHT be progress!
I agree, and like that analogy. He changes so much that what was a problem in Spring at the beginning of the process might be different. Now, it is improving, but the focusing issues are still not there.
Yesterday getting into the car for example. I open the door and say "okay climb in and start to buckle your car seat and I will help you finish."
He gets in- half way, reaches for a toy on the ground. Talks to the toy. Reaches for a catalog on the other side, then turns around and looks on the other side of the car seat. (Yes, my car is FULL of toys and toy catalogs.) I finally put him in the car seat. I buckle him as he sings and play with his toy. Oblivious to what I'm doing, or seemingly oblivious, I should say.
Well, I also had the local school district call me Thursday, ask TONS of questions, and then Friday POOF! a child psychologist left a message for me to bring Ricci in this week. So, we shall see. Cross your fingers friends, this MIGHT be progress!
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